Rail strikes and airport chaos permitting I'll be off on holiday tomorrow, getting back at the tail end of next week.
Well I say holiday, but actually I am leaving to escape the abuse I have been receiving from misguided individuals who think I am in some way affiliated with Liz Truss, ever since The Observer revealed on Sunday that she believes she surfs the zeitgeist. An implausible claim, as her failure to choose any Uzbek dub for Desert Island Discs shows.
Even before this happened I had learnt to keep my holiday plans under wraps to avoid being pestered by fans. Fans of other people mostly. At various points on my travels I have been wrongly accused of being Mr Bean, Christopher Biggins - its hard to imagine how anyone could look like both of them but there you go - the former Spanish Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar and a German celebrity who was unknown to me.
So rather than sharing some songs that might give you a clue as to my destination here is an entirely random (insert wink emoji) list of tunes about places I am not going to.
If you are wondering about where some of these places are: I assume Unq Village is in Mongolia because that's where The Colors come from, but I can't be sure; Gauteng is a province in South Africa; and while you will know where Angola is you may not know that its praises are being sung by a band from Niger.
"Baltimore" - The Tamlins
"Unq Village" - The Colors
"Loch Lomond" - The Rockets
"Gauteng" - Mpharanyana
"Angola" - Azna De L'Ader
"Rockaway Beach" - General Johnson & Joey Ramone
"Indian Ocean" - Frazey Ford
"Adelaide" - John Cale
Stay well, see you soon. Take it away lads...