This being Valentine's Day, here are four love songs of different sorts. One happy ending. One unhappy ending. One fellow who needs a slap because he doesn't realise when he is well off. And one that is frankly ridiculous.
"The Tale Of Mr. Morton" - Skee-Lo
"You Don't Know Me" - Ray Charles
"She Ain't No You" - Thad Cockrell
"Old King Kong" - George Jones
In the absence of a current Mrs Goggins, and with no immediate prospect of a future Mrs Goggins, I had thought about dedicating these songs to all the girls I've loved before.
But then I changed my mind. Because there is a woman I am madly in love with and have been for ages. I know there is no realistic chance that she will ever return my love. She is young, beautiful, bubbly, supremely talented and famous. What would she ever want with a humble middle-aged blogger like me?
But if I have learnt anything from sobbing away with Ray Charles it is this - better to say something and risk having your heart broken than say nothing and guarantee you will have your heart broken. So here goes:
ICY SPICY LEONCIE, WILL YOU MARRY ME?